So for most of our lives we're fed this notion that unicorns are lame. Unicorns are supposed to be these sissy, frolicking little pansy magic horses with horns on their heads. This notion has been taken so far that when two rival game developers were asked to make their competitors characters look bad they both used unicorns to do so (http://kotaku.com/5307391/infamous-defeats-prototype-in-cross+dressing-playoff) And so it goes from there, images of renowned criminal justice badass Robocop on a unicorn provoke fits of mirth because why would Robocop be on a sissy little unicorn?
Well I'll tell you why. Unicorns are cool. Put that in your Hot Pocket and send it to Grandma Sally for Christmas. Here's why unicorns are cool. First of all, we all know unicorns from those movies that we watched as kids like The Last Unicorn and Legend, and we all know them from stuff like Robot Unicorn Attack and Harry Potter. So what? Every time you've got the same story, some mystical beast that's just a bit vulnerable and fragile because it's so damn mystical and magical. The Last Unicorn tells the story of of unicorns pushed to the verge of extinction. In Legend, the unicorns are hunted down by Dr. Frankenfurter (citation needed) And so it goes in almost every damn example. Well I'm here to say, not so fast. What animal did Ridley Scott put in the number one science fiction movie of all time? I'm talking about Blade Runner and I'm talking about unicorns. When Deckard dreams, he dreams of a unicorn. Throughout the whole movie there's this whole theme of implanted memories and lo and behold, at the end what does our origami-making crippled cop friend Gaff leave for Deckard?
He leaves him a shiny little unicorn. Leaving us to wonder, is Deckard a replicant? Are the unicorns implanted dreams or memories in Deckard's brain? So here we have arguably the greatest, most philosophically thought-provoking science-fiction film of the 20th century and perhaps all time, and in the end, a unicorn inspires us to question everything we thought we knew about the film. Pretty cool, huh?
Ok, still not convinced? There's a Marvel supervillain named the Unicorn that shoots lasers out of his forehead. There's a Gundam franchise called Unicorn. If I misspell the Transformers villain, Unicron, it comes out as unicorn. I mean, I could go on and on with this stuff, but really....
Ok, still not convinced? There's a Marvel supervillain named the Unicorn that shoots lasers out of his forehead. There's a Gundam franchise called Unicorn. If I misspell the Transformers villain, Unicron, it comes out as unicorn. I mean, I could go on and on with this stuff, but really....
wow....nevermind.
unicorns are pretty bad ass, only virgin maidens came tame them. So what happens if you're not a virgin maiden, what are those horns for, stabbing you in the gut!
ReplyDeleteYou don't even want to know what they do with your dead body...and those horns.
ReplyDelete