The FP

The movie up for review this time is one I've been excited about watching for some time: The FP.

From the bits and pieces I knew beforehand, I was able to gather that it was set in a post-apocalyptic society where people use Beat Beat Revolution(Dance Dance Revolution's copyright safe doppelganger) to settle turf wars. Which sounded totally awesome to me so at first I was like this:

"It's gonna be so good!"

Now that I've watched it however, I am like this:

"......"

So now that I've watched The FP let me fill you in on the details. It is in fact, post-apocalyptic. However, not traditionally so. Most post-apocalyptic movies leave us with a world that is brimming with elements of cyberpunk, steampunk, the Wild West, or something along those lines. The FP creates a post-apocalyptic world that reeks of white trash, peopleofwalmart.com, and just pretty much what you'd expect if something bad happened to the rest of the world and all that was left was about 96 people in a small town in New Jersey. 

The future!

The dance fighting is used to settle turf wars between gangs of young adults who live in almost clan-like gangs scattered through out the area, identified by the area code they represent. (248, 254, 143, etc.) the game chooses a song automatically and is constantly changing and introducing new elements. Omega Gangster Mode and Cage Match are two of its more eccentric settings. If a competitor is "187'd" he/she has collapsed and stayed down for more than 10 seconds, promptly ending the match. 

The plot follows JTRO, who looks like the bastard son of Snake Plissken and Derek Zoolander, as he seeks revenge for his brother BTRO who suffered a fatal 187 at the hands of rival gang leader L Dubba E. L Dubba E and his crew now control all of the FP and the flow of alcohol. Without alcohol flow, the local drunks have turned to drugs, quickly deteriorating the situation of the community. JTRO undergoes a Rocky-esque training under the tutelage of Beat Beat referee KCDC and the mysterious BLT in order to save the FP and defeat L Dubba E. 

Snake Zoolander

Also there's a love story. Not that impressive.

Damn, son.

All of JTRO's training lead's up to BLT teaching him the true meaning of the word "nigga" and why they call each other that. He tells him it has nothing to do with race but rather that it means: Never Ignorant, Getting Goals Accomplished.



I guess you'd like to know what I think of The FP....

Did I like this movie? Yes, absolutely. Would I recommend it? Not to the general public. Quite frankly I'm not sure how seriously the people making this movie were. So I would most likely recommend The FP only if you were in the mood to see something like nothing you've ever seen before, and I suppose there's something to be appreciated in that. 

4 out of 5 Dance Arrows 

"Iron Sky" (A movie about Moon Nazis)

You know there was a time in my life where I thought Asia produced the strangest and most interesting movies in the world. I now know that I was wrong. Asia will always be a close second to Scandinavia when it comes to weird-ass films.

Enter Iron Sky, a movie about Nazis from the dark side of the moon.

Basically.

Yeah, I'll give that one a few moments to sink in....maybe go get a sandwich.
*footsteps*
*clutter*
........
........
*footsteps*
Ok, recovered enough? Good, because this is going to be interesting.

Iron Sky is built around the premise that at the end of World War II, the Nazis took a spaceship to the dark side of the moon where they have been building up their strength ever since. Now, they are on the verge of invading Earth to bring in a new era of peace/war. (they haven't really decided yet)

Space Swastika

If this sounds like a shitty movie, you'd be surprised, it's actually pretty good.  They even manage to reference the angry Hitler Youtube meme. Among the other highlights are a black man being dyed white, a giant space zeppelin, a Sarah Palin doppelganger for the POTUS, and my personal favorite, the UN scene where North Korea tries to take credit for the invading spaceships and everyone just laughs at them.

Yeah, he used to be black(er).

Basically it all leads to a massive space battle with the nations of the world kicking ass with their respective illegally militarized satellites.

See? 

Ultimately, the ending left me wondering, is Iron Sky really just a social commentary film about how greed and moral ambiguity has corrupted the world's leaders? Possibly, but more than likely it's just a really fun film to watch. Bonus points for using the actual dark side of the moon and actual lead zeppelins in two big references to classic rock I've ever seen.

3.5 out 5 Moon Nazis

And we're back.

Dear readers, 

I apologize. I apologize for being a little bitch. I apologize for failing you. I apologize for failing cinema. I apologize for failing this blog and for most of all failing myself. The point is I'm back and I'm ready to start reviewing weird shit again.