In the history of superheroes, there are many contenders for "greatest hero of all time." Superman naturally comes to mind, but alas, no-one likes him because he is far too much of a boy scout to ever be considered "cool". Batman is dark and brooding but his central pain stems from the death of his parents when in reality that's not very unique considering that Superman's entire planet and race is dead and Spiderman's uncle is dead and he ended up killing Mary Jane with radioactive semen (look it up). We could go through all the X-Men, Avengers, Justice League, whatever... The fact of the matter is this: there is only one superhero who fits the title of best superhero ever. That superhero is Zebraman.
Takashi Miike decided to take a break from making nightmare fuel and make something a little more family friendly. So he made a superhero movie about a nerdy schoolteacher who obsesses over a television show that he used to watch as a child. The show followed the adventures of Zebraman, defender of the earth and champion of good. Zebraman was awesome because he had a kick-ass theme song and a motorcycle. So our beloved schoolteacher is still obsessed with him all these years later so much so that he designs his own Zebraman costume and plays Zebraman in his room! What fun!
One night after mustering up enough courage to venture out into the night in his Zebraman costume (he was going to show it to one of his students/fellow Zebraman fans), our teacher runs into a man with a crab mask on his head! Oh the horror! Crab-mask is about to rape a bitch, but teacher/Zebraman bravely whispers for him to stop. Crab-mask then starts to attack, but wonder of wonders, suddenly....TEACHER HAS ALL THE MOTHERFUCKING POWERS OF ZEBRAMAN!
It is at this point in the movie where Zebraman becomes a contender for greatest movie of all time, because Zebraman just proceeds to sufficiently beat the crap out of Crab-mask and every other subsequent bad guy that he comes across. The costume begins improving and eventually Zebraman must rely on all of his powers to protect Japan from an alien invasion, which was foretold in the original television series which turned out to be a prophecy....yep.
The best part of Zebraman is pretty much a toss-up between his powers and his theme song. His powers are fueled by his belief in himself and comprise of the following, Zebra Back Kick, Zebra Screw Punch, Zebra Bomber, Flight, Super Strength, Zebra Sense, transformation into a Zebra Pegasus that can fire lasers, etc...
The Zebraman theme song is catchy as all hell and will get stuck in your head even if the words are mostly just "Zebraman" repeated.
Worth noting: this movie is great because unlike other superheroes, people look at Zebraman and instead of saying "Oh thank God, a superhero.", they give him a look like "What's with the costume buddy?"
Also, did I mention he has catchphrases? Zebraman has catchphrases:
- "Turn on the Black and White"
- "I'm not going to let you keep me down."
- "Don't stand behind me" *kick*
- "Black and White Ecstasy! Zebraman!"
I don't know what else to tell you...go watch this movie. Do it. Do it now.
Then go watch the crazy sequel Zebraman 2: Attack on Zebra City
5 out of 5 Zebras
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