Film Friday: Hell Comes to Frogtown

*sigh*  Let it never be said I'm not committed to this damn blog. Today's feature was recommended to me by a friend. I was actually somewhat familiar with the Frogtown franchise but only due to the later installments which feature Joe Estevez as the replacement for Rowdy Roddy Piper. Piper, who plays Sam Hell in the original film, was pretty fantastic in They Live, so I was willing to give this movie a shot. This was a mistake I would soon regret.

Hell Comes to Frogtown is set in a post-apocalyptic future just like 15 million other movies. However, Hell Comes to Frogtown chooses to set itself apart from those movies not by necessarily including a better plot or cinematography, but instead choosing to focus on lots of sex, mutants, and something called "The Dance of The Three Snakes" which I will talk about later.


In this post-apocalyptic world, fertility is low and the population is suffering. Our hero, Sam Hell, is captured by the military and placed under the care of the MedTech, a branch of the military specifically dedicated to making babies, complete with its own propaganda posters. Their reasoning for doing so is because lo and behold, Sam Hell has a higher sperm count than any man alive! Well, they immediately slap an electronic chastity Speedo on him and take him to go a-fornicatin'.

Hell and the MedTechs are sent on a mission into mutant territory (by the way in case you didn't get it yet, the mutants are giant frog people) to rescue five fertile females. Stuff happens, Sam Hell almost bangs a frog chick, and they save the females.  All along the way there's lots of boobage and slightly erotic facial expressions all of which are supposedly hilarious.

The most frightening part of this movie is "The Dance of the Three Snakes." This is basically when a human female is made to dance erotically for the commander of the frog people and if she does a good job, we see some wriggling under his tunic and he announces "You have aroused the three snakes! Come to me!"  So yes, he has three penises.

Is this movie good? No. No it isn't. Is this movie bad? Probably, but I've seen worse and I know coming from me that's not a fair statement because I've seen a lot of crap. So by normal people's standards, yes, this is a bad movie. 

But I didn't mind.


IT AROUSED THREE SNAKES OUT OF FIVE.